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So you’re a blogger. Now what about your real life friends and family? Do you keep it a secret from everybody? Do you only tell a select group of people? Or do you announce it to the world? Any of these scenarios is possible and is completely dependant on the blogger in question.
Whether or not you tell friends and family about your new-found passion also has a lot to do with the reason you started blogging. There are tons of reasons you could want to start your own blog. You could want to find and connect people who share the same passion. You could want to express yourself creatively. You could want to use it to gain skills and advance professionally. You could start a blog as a first step in your plan for world-domination. The possibilities are endless. But someone who wants to use a blog to advance in their career would probably need to tell people about their blog at some point in time, while someone who is just looking for a creative outlet may be perfectly content at keeping their blog to themselves.
My reasons and experiences
Personally, I started blogging for two reasons. One, I wanted to share my love of books and connect to other people who loved reading. (While I have some friends who like reading, it’s not the same. I mean, if I talk too long about books or get a bit too excited, they look at me funny and change the subject. While in the bookish blogging community my ramblings and fangirling are welcomed with open arms) And secondly, I wanted to use a blog as a means to gain some online skills and use them in my professional life.
While my first reason wouldn’t have necessarily required me to tell anyone about my blog, I still made the decision to tell all my friends and family about it. For me the reason for doing so was simply that I was excited. I love this blog and I was so proud for having finally started one. Plus, it’s become such an integral part of my life, something I couldn’t imagine myself without anymore. So I felt like this was something I should share with friends and family. And though I know they don’t actually read any of my posts, knowing they have my back is still pretty great. Even when I began my Youtube channel, I had a good content but zero traffic, so I decided to buy some views using verified companies who use legal means of promoting content on the internet and to my surprise it actually worked as now I have tons of subscribers on my channel waiting for me to upload my next video.
My second reason made me more uncomfortable, because it made me share my blog with colleagues. I told my former boss as an example of what I was doing to enhance my skills. And now that I am job hunting again, I am mentioning my blog in interviews to show companies what I can do, what I know and what I have accomplished. This is of course a little nerve racking, because it’s not just a portfolio, it’s a pretty huge, personal part of me and showing it off to strangers is waay out of my comfort zone. But, I still believe this blog will still someday give me the edge I need and land me my dream job.
But like I said, this experience is different for everyone. So why don’t we list a few possible pros and cons about telling people you know in real life about your blog.
>> Pros of telling people about your blog <<
People won’t jump to funny conclusions about what you’re spending your time on
Blogging takes up A LOT of work and a lot of time. So maybe your family or loved ones may get a teensy bit curious as to what you are spending all that time on. Why you’re typing away at your computer for hours on end. Why you’re suddenly staring at your bookshelf, mumbling things like “Which character would I like to have dinner with?” (necessary questions for a book tag, of course), or “Come on shelf, give me topic ideas”. Or why you are spending an entire afternoon taking pictures of your books with a huge assortment of random accessories. Before those loved ones are starting to jump to the worst possible conclusions, you may want to consider telling them you’re a blogger. They may be relieved. They may be more worried. But at least, they will know and your behavior will start to make some sense. Kind of.
You could get some much-appreciated support
Even if friends and family don’t completely understand why you’re blogging or relate to your passions, they can still support you in this endeavour. And that support can mean the WORLD. Whether it’s your mother who is the first person to like your newly-made Facebook page. Or your husband who helps you take bookish pictures without question. Or your friend who subscribes to your blog and likes every single post just because. It may be little things, but they can help a blogger out so much in so many ways, especially one who is just starting. All those little things can make the blogger heart incredibly happy. Getting the support from people you love is the coolest.
You can use your blog as part of your resume
Well, if you’re spending this much time on your blog, you may as well use it, right? I mean, there are so many skills you could highlight using your blog. Your writing skills, your graphic design skills, your content management skills, your creativity, your understanding of SEO, your social media skills, your general online marketing skills. The list goes on. You can list it on your resume and even use numbers to quantify your successes. Highlight the increase you had in number of subscribers, the average amount of page visits you have per day, the amount of social media subscribers. Use the fact that you are cooperating with publishers to review ARCS as a way to market your communication skills, social skills, organisational skills, your initiative, your passion. You have put so much work and effort into your blog, so don’t be afraid to be proud of what you’ve accomplished.
>> Cons of telling people about your blog <<
You may end up needing to censor yourself
Well, the most obvious reason for not telling anybody about your blog is if you just don’t want them to know what you are blogging about. This can go from the little things to huge life-changing things. For example, if you are reviewing smutty romance novels on a regular basis, you may not want to tell your grandmother about your blog (unless you know she would love some recommendations). Or, if you are trying to use your blog as part of your resume and need to be taken seriously, you may not be able to talk in fangirl (lots of CAPS and “OMG”s and “ASFHJALMNJAH”s) as much as you may really want to. Whatever the reason, you may need to edit yourself in some way, depending on who you’re expecting to read your blog that you also know in real life.
Also, unfortunately not everybody is in the best situation possible to just go around and tell everybody about their blog. Perhaps you have very good reasons to keep your blog a secret. Perhaps you are in the position where you can only be your true self on your blog and the people in your life wouldn’t understand if they found out. If that is the case, then you could of course choose to keep your blog a secret from all or just certain people in your life.
You are putting yourself out there and open to criticism
Telling people about your blog can always be risky business. After all, a blog can become such an integral part of your life, of who you are. You are pouring your heart and soul into it every day and it becomes a piece of who you are. So when you tell people, you are putting yourself out there. Having people you love take a look at your blog can feel like handing them a piece of yourself. If you are in any way self-conscious about that, or uncomfortable about it, you may need to think twice about whether or not you want to tell people. They may have some criticism. They may not always be nice or even constructive. They may take a look at something you spent hours on and immediately come up with a list of things you could do better.
So keep this in mind if you’re highly sensitive. BUT always remember: if you started a blog, you already took a huge leap towards accomplishing your dreams. You already did this amazing thing! You are off to great things so while the haters waste their time hating, you go be awesome and rock the world!
It can be demotivating or hurtful when friends or family don’t support you
Yes, I know I put the support as one of the pros. Because if you have it, it’s amazing. But you may also want to keep in mind that people, even friends, family and loved ones, may simply just not care. After all, you are blogging about something you‘re passionate about. They may not care one bit about books. Or whatever else it is you’re blogging about. And while you may be expecting them to subscribe to your blog and your social media and read all your posts, the truth is… they may not. Because of a gazillion possible reasons.
And while that is completely understandable, it can also sting. It may feel as if they don’t care about you as a person. Which is of course not necessarily the case, but just keep this in mind. In the end, it’s your blog and your project. And even though you may love it dearly and you may want the people you love to love it as well, you also can’t expect other people to love it just as much as you do. So if you think you could be easily dissappointed or even demotivated by this scenario, you may need to consider whether or not to tell people.
The upside? For every real-life friend that doesn’t care about your blogging passion, you can find someone online who is more than ready to rave, ramble and obsess with you. And nothing builds friendship like shared passions and obsessions!
Great topic. My husband knows. Others too but not really to what extent of how much time I spend on it. I did invite various people to like my blog’s facebook page, those that I know that read or are supportive. Friends always go a little hmm if I mention it in real life so I tend to not talk about it a whole lot. It makes me feel awkward. But it is okay. My husband is very supportive and that counts the most.
A supportive husband is indeed the best thing! Mine is very supportive as well and actually encouraged me to finally start this blog 🙂 Haha, my friends are the same way, so I don’t talk about it as much either. But if they do bring it up or ask how it’s going it does make me happy every time 🙂
I haven’t told many people about my blog for personal reasons. Every time this topic comes up, I feel like people assume that if you don’t tell people, it’s because you’re ashamed, but that’s not it at all! Like you said, there are cons, and sometimes people have other reasons for not telling people. But a few of my closest friends know. I never expected them to follow it or visit it more than the one “Look I have a blog!” first time lol since they aren’t into books like I am, so it doesn’t bother me that they don’t. They respect my passion for books and I can mention my blog if it comes up or I’m excited about something, so that’s what counts 🙂 Then again they probably don’t realize quite how much effort I put into it, haha.
You are so right! There can be so MANY reasons why you would make the decision to not tell people and shame definitely doesn’t have to have anything to do with it. You can be super proud of what you’ve accomplished and still choose to keep it to yourself. It’s a personal decision. But it’s indeed already great to just be able to be excited about it with people you’ve told, haha, even if they indeed don’t realize how much effort really goes into it… 🙂
My immediate family knows I have a blog. My parents seems to be pretty proud that I do this because it’s in English. So that’s nice… but on the other hand I don’t think they fully get the whole book blog community so a part I keep to myself.
It’s definitely an amazing thing if you’re able to do all this blogging in a language that’s not your native language, so I’m happy your parents are proud 🙂 It’s true though that non-bookish people don’t always really fully get this community, so I totally understand keeping some of it to yourself.
I’ve been debating writing about this same topic! Only a handful of family members know about my blog, and probably only one or two read it on a regular basis. It’s not that I go out of my way to hide it, but I definitely don’t promote it to family and friends. There are some readers in my family, but I’m just not sure they would be interested in my blog. For some reason, it’s less nerve-wracking for people I don’t know to read my blog than for people I actually do know. Maybe it’s the anonymity factor. My sister thinks it’s weird that I don’t talk about my blog with family, but like you said, it would be hurtful to promote it and then have none of them support it.
OH, looking forward to reading your post on this! It’s been intriguing me for a while, but I hadn’t seen that many posts about it yet so I’m super curious to see how other bloggers feel about this topic! I totally get how you feel when you say it’s less nerve-wracking for people you don’t know to read your blog, than people you do know! I feel the same way also when I dance and have to perform – I don’t mind if there’s nobody in the audience I know, but when there is one person I know I’m a nervous wreck 🙂 But I guess it’s just because we’re worried about their opinions more than anyone else’s and it would be indeed more hurtful if they didn’t like it.
I really loved reading this post, and I agree with everything. Blogging has taken such a huge part of my life, my family knows about it and so does the bf – they have to, I spend my weekends blogging and / or freaking out about it haha.
I guess there is something comforting though, about knowing only close family might read this blog and not everyone I know – after all, it’s kind of personal and I’m scared at times that people would judge me or just misunderstand everything about it. Because as we know, blogging is definitely NOT what it seems from the outside, it takes much, much work.
I think it’s good, great, even, to use your blog when it can help you in finding a job. It definitely shows you skills and if it’s useful for what you want to do as a job, well…I say go for it. I did it and I think maybe it can make your resume stand out 😀
Yes that’s so true that there is a comfort in knowing that only close family reads your blog. It is something that takes so much work, and not everybody understands exactly how much work is put into it, so I can feel a bit protective about it, haha. Knowing people could read it and judge me, can feel pretty awkward.
That’s great that you also used your blog in your resume! I certainly hope it’ll help me stand out soon 🙂
That stock photo header tho ??
I’ve told most of my friends and family that I have a blog, but I’ve only given a few the link. None of them read my posts cause they’re all jerks ? But like you said, it’s good to have people who support you, even if not in practical ways ?
I agree about the resume stuff! I’ve put my blog on my CV before and definitely think it can be really useful!
Love the Supernatural gifs ?
Haha, yes it is kind of cringy 🙂
Also, my friends are also pretty jerky since they don’t read my posts 😀 but they do support me, though more emotionally I guess 🙂
AH I love this! Especially since I know SO many people who grapple with whether they should tell people, I think this post is really quite helpful aside from just being a great post 😀 (Your gif game is incredibly on point, by the way!)
I tell people because… eh, why not. I have thought about the censoring bit- for example, when I did personal posts during Shattering Stigmas, I said some things that… well, I doubt my parents would have enjoyed reading, if they did. But I thought long and hard about it, and for me, honestly was the best route. Now, I totally get that it isn’t for everyone- I fully acknowledge that I have a definite privilege to be able to talk freely about pretty much anything and not have to worry too much about the ramifications (I mean, unless I say something douchey and offend someone, but then that’s on me).
I love this because you did it as a tool- a great guide for people to see what works for THEM. I know so many people have family or cultural or even job-related reasons for keeping blogging under wraps, using aliases, etc. And I think ultimately, you have to do what makes you the most comfortable, and whatever you can live with best at the end of the day. Fabulous post, Lindsey!
Thanks so much Shannon! 🙂 It’s definitely something that is so different for everybody and depends on so many aspects, such as family, job or culture. There are pros and cons to telling people and everybody should have to decide for themselves what they are comfortable with. I also told friends and family and sometimes I do wonder about what I’m writing, and what they would say if they read it, but for me honesty is also the way to go.
I didn’t tell anyone about my blog for a long time because it seemed weird, and I like to keep my real life and online life separate. But now I’ve been blogging for almost six years, and several people do know about it and….none of them care. None of them read it. One is even friends with me on Goodreads and will send me messages like “I see you have reviewed X book, but your review is long. Can you tell me what you thought of it?” Uh, no. It would take you two minutes to read the review, but instead I’m supposed to reread it and then rewrite so it’s shorter and then message it to you? So, one one hand, my concerns about being judged or having to feel wary about what I wrote if people I know might be reading it were unfounded. But, yeah, it’s also mildly annoying that apparently exactly no one I’m friends with cares about my hobby. :p
I do put my blog on resumes when it seems relevant. I have no idea if it helps or not.
Oh my, having friends ask that of you would indeed be a bit annoying… I would also think “Just read the review, I already spent so much time on it”. 🙂 But I understand, I also told all my friends and while they are supportive, they also don’t really care about it. I wish they’d care a bit more sometimes, but I guess I didn’t start blogging for them either, so I go back and forth on it myself 🙂
Ooh, this was a really great post! To be honest I don’t tell many people about my blog, but I’ve had it so long that most of my close friends and family know about it – even sometimes read it! Thankfully they know better than to mention it because I become all shy and … well, its embarrassing lol.
Thanks so much! Yes, I totally relate! I told friends and family but I also don’t expect them to read my posts (and they rarely do). But when they do tell me they read something, I get instantly embarassed 🙂
Ohh I love this post! And I relate a lot for sure. I actually got serious about blogging partially because I wanted to talk about books because I LOVE BOOKS, but also because I wanted it to be a potential author platform. So in that respect it’s always kind of nerve wracking mentioning I have a blog, haha, because I’m not very “professional” on it, I suppose.? I’d rather have now, even though the original intent was an author platform. Pffffft. Let me flail and gif.
My family DOES know about it! They don’t really read it though haha. But because sometimes they do, I do have to censor myself. ? And that’s always awkward/frustrating. ERgh.
So definitely many pros and cons for it! I don’t hide my blog, but I don’t actively tell people about it either anymore. ??
Oh, but Cait, your flailing and giffing are part of what makes your blog so amazing ! Definitely don’t change it! Besides, you could say it’s just part of your personal brand, so that counts as professional, right? 😉 But yes, there are definitely both pros and cons for it!
And OMG yes about friends! I get the funny looks too when I get really excited about books and the things that are exciting for me (like getting a book from the publisher, reaching 50 followers etc.) is not so interesting for them?
I didn’t tell everyone though..My parents know and a couple of my cousins know. And some select friends but that’s it. And I know what you mean about telling strangers! I met some people at a lit fest and blogs came up. I told them about mine and some girls immediately looked it up on their phones and got to reading..I was like..”oh ok..I’ll be leaving now” 😛
(side-note- wonderful gifs! I needed to see Crowley today :P)
An yes, there are both pros and cons but it all gets neutralized by finding amazing friends online <33
Haha, yes the funny looks from friends… it can be awkward sometimes, but at least online friends understand our enthusiasm 100% 🙂 Also, I TOTALLY understand your awkwardness when telling strangers and they immediately look it up! I turn bright red and just look around awkwardly, while thinking back to what my last post was and what they could possibly be thinking about it… (Yay, Crowley 😉 )
I struggle SO hard with wondering whether or not I should tell people IRL about my blog. I think my biggest worry is that people won’t get it. I have quite a few bookish friends and family, but noooot on the level that everyone in the community and myself is, and I wonder what they’d think of me doing giveaways, sharing more of myself with strangers than with them, talking about books all day every day. I also don’t want to have to censor myself, which I feel would be a must. I get pretty personal sometimes, and I talk about these people too.
However, I do have one friend who I know has read my posts before. I don’t know if she still does, but I’m actually okay with her knowing, and reading. I think my mom reads some of them too (but I also hope she doesn’t because sometimes I don’t want her seeing what I read. LOL). I just find myself not wanting to think about it too much, in case I do start to partly censor myself. I don’t want to lose that honesty I have here, especially if it helps my mom or my friend understand me a bit more and what’s going on in my life.
I really enjoyed your post! There are definitely pros and cons to telling people. I wantwant to keep some parts of it separate, like my Twitter and Goodreads, but I do hope to eventually work up the courage to be more active on talking about it. It’s great that you have such wonderful support from friends and family!
I totally understand, and the fact that you would possibly need to censor yourself is definitely something to take into account. The honesty on the blog is definitely an important part, and losing that could possibly result in losing a bit of the magic of blogging as well. Haha, I’m on one hand ok with friends and family reading my posts but on the other hand, whenever they say that they read a certain post (though to be fair this happens rarely), I always take a minute to think back on what I wrote exactly and if I should be embarrassed or not 😉
This is an absolutely fantastic discussion, Lindsey! I’m in the same boat as you: I started blogging because I love to read, but I also knew that it would help me build skills and illustrate expertise that would help me land my dream job…which meant that I had to tell people about it. Professional people who would be making the final call on whether or not I was a good fit for the job. Talk about nerve-wracking!
But honestly I think it was actually really helpful, because people got a very real idea of who I was before I started working with them – oh yeah, I actually did get my dream job. Was the blog part of it? Maybe, maybe not. But it’s a big part of who I am and what I spend my time doing, and I definitely want people to know about it. Even if they only say, “hey, that’s cool!” Good enough for me. 🙂 Fingers crossed that your job hunt turns out well!
Oh, that’s so amazing that you landed your dream job! It’s probably difficult to tell, but I’m sure the blog was at least some part of it 🙂 It’s indeed such a big part of who you are, what you spend your time on and what you can do so that definitely can’t be overlooked! Glad to hear I’m not the only one who used the blog in job hunting though, and it is a bit reassuring that it was equally nerve-wracking for you, but turned out great. So thanks for sharing 🙂
Great topic! I’m always hesitant to tell people that I have a blog. I’m not even sure why honestly because the few friends and family members who do know about it have always been 100% supportive.
I totally understand! Even though my friends and family have been supportive as well, I’m still always hesitant to tell other people. It’s always a new chance for me to tell someone about something important to me and be judged because of it, I guess. Still risky business 🙂
This is such a well thought out, interesting post, Lindsey – great job!
I’ve never thought of anything like this, but so much of what you say is true. I do tell people when I get the age-old question, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW??” but I don’t share the where of my blogging, because as you point out, this world just GETS why we do what we do. It’s not that I really mind if someone I know in my every day life reads my blog, it’s more that I don’t really promote myself like that. I’m not a girl who jumps up and down and says, “HEY! READ MY BLOG.” I love that I can meet so many fellow fan girls and that we just “get” what each other is rambling about, but beyond that, I don’t really do the whole tell-everyone-about-my-blog. My immediate family and even some of my extended knows I blog, but no one reads it far as I know. 🙂 (And they’d probably wonder WHAT the heck I was talking about – because again, it’s all the fangirl stuff – if they did!)
Oh, and this -> “Come on shelf, give me topic ideas”. – SO MUCH YES! I do this all the time. Plus, your book photo comments? Yep. I figure my family wonders that too. 😀
Thanks so much Rissi!
Yes, exactly! We can tell people as much as we want, but chances are they’ll never really GET it. Not like our fellow bloggers do 🙂 And I totally understand you about the not promoting yourself like that. Part of me is really proud of my little blog and I don’t mind if people would read it, but telling people to go read my blog would just be awkward and out of my comfort zone. Haha, I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who talks to her bookshelf like that 😀
Great post, Lindsey! You bought up so many good points.
I don’t really go out of my way to hide that I’m blogging, but I don’t really advertise it either? When review copies showed up my parents were like, “…where are you getting all these books from?” and I explained it to them, but I don’t think they really get it ? or understand how time consuming/serious it is.
Thanks Lauren! Haha yes, even though I told family and some friends, I don’t think anyone who isn’t a blogger can ever really understand how much goes into it. Or the joy we get out of it 🙂
[…] She also talked about if blogging is a creative outlet. ⌘ Lindsey from Lindsey Reads shared a pro and con list about telling people about your blog. ⌘ The Bookavid shared some of her most anticipated releases for the second half of the year. ⌘ […]